i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Randomize
