Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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