I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
