white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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