My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
