he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
