just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
