You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
