i just google imaged poop.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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