I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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