i would punch a child for taco bell
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
