Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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