his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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