Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
