I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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