i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
