I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
