I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
