oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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