I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
