i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
