I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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