Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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