I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
