What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
