She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
