I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
