I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
