I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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