I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
