Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
so let's talk penis.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
