Already got asked if we're dating
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
