Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
