Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Someone signed my nipple.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
