loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
