THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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