I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
