Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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