Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
