she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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