I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
