don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
