he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
