i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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