i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
