I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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