Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
