Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
