i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
