i may or may not be watching the land before time
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
