I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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