I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
