I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
