Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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